Subject: A bit of levity: "And then the fight started..."





When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station.... And then the fight
started....


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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized
I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'shes my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober
since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....

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I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got
out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just
seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....